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Yet Another Week
Last week went down as one of my WORST weeks ever. Nothing went right. Everything went wrong. Everyone was making me sad, pissing me off, getting on my nerves, blah blah blah (with the exception of my darlings of course). First Schnappi went MIA on me, which totally unleashed the crazy and paranoid and emotional side of me, then FGL came and talked to me online and made me feel sad all over again, den there was the cd receipt incident, and then some more. Which was why i stayed late in the office the whole of last week. AND I ate out the ENTIRE week. Burned a Huge hole in my pocket as a result. Been out drinking, shi-sha-ing, eating, spending and spending and spending. Nothing beats retail therapy i tell u. I already feel better.
Finally settled the trip for Nov. Very excited! Taman Negara~ Can't believe we're going to do such exciting activities! Rapid shooting, canopy walk, night safari. Very excite~ And its cheaper than Cameron Highlands! And we're taking a train there. HAHA. Huo Che~ Departing Sg at 5.30AM~ WHooo Hoo.. Earlier la~ But oh well, I'm super looking forward to it. Away from work and everything else.
Was talking to Schnappi yesterdae and he asked me something, and my answer had something to do with ba gua. Then i suddenly realised i dunno wads ba gua called in English. Asked the puppet ah siao and she said roasted pork lah. Hmm.. Sounded a bit weird.. isnt roasted pork Shao Zhu instead? hahah.. Whatever lah. Already told him its roasted pork. HAHA. Gonna ask him wads crocodile called in German the next time i get a chance to bombard him with questions.
On another note, my jie lun rocks.
Au revoir and Auf Wiedersehen
KaoBei-ed @
7:32 PM
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
I Do What I Like.
I'll do whatever i like. Come home or stay out. Its my business.
That said, I dont give a fuck what who thinks.
So if u're not happie, DONT FUCKING READ MY BLOG THEN.
FICKEN.
KaoBei-ed @
10:54 PM
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
At the Lowest of the Low
Everything is so screwed up now that I'm beginning to show signs of breakdown. I cannot stop feeling angry at everything and the angrier i get, the worse things become. Things haven't been exactly smooth sailing since the weekend. I'm still a little affected by the MIA stunt.
The ultimatum came yesterdae night. Tested my patience to the limit. I was SO SO SO close to slamming the damn door and throwing things and cursing everyone in sight. Even thinking about it now makes my blood boil. And knowing there's NOTHING i can do about it makes it even worse. Actually, i can do something about it. I can get another one (which is going to PISS me even more), or i could demand compensation (which is also going to piss me off coz it STILL means i wasted 20 over fucking dollars). Seriously, the onli thing short of throwing my redemption coupon and receipt down the rubbish chute is burning them.
Went to bed in an extremely bad mood, and woke up the same. Spilled concealer on my shirt. Thought wearing my new shoes will lift my mood, but i end up having blisters. Left home early coz was supposed to have a conf call at 9am. Reached office at 850, only to find out conf call cancelled. Change to tmr morning. Fuck. Den server down. Can't log in to ANY of the company's website. Can't even find my name in the namefinder! So now i can't do anything coz i can't log in to the system.
Sneaky bastard says i'm acting like when i was on diet the other time. Short tempered. Unfriendly. Negative. I agree. Except maybe i'm feeling worse now.
Work is probably the only thing that isn't pissing me off as much. Can't u believe it. Its like i'm saying work is the only thing that is keeping me sane. I dread going home coz i'm onli going to be reminded of yesterdae's incident. Staying out makes me tired. Eating out wastes money. Not like i do not have enough expenses to pay for. Ah.. Fuck it.
KaoBei-ed @
3:33 PM
Monday, October 13, 2008
A Case of Emotional Wreck
I'm definitely blogging too much recently. And my posts are all sad and miserable. So it should come to no surprise that this post is going to be yet another sad, miserable post. I think i'm becoming so emotional i'm starting to act a bit crazy.
Take yesterdae for instance, one day of no sms from a certain someone, and i lost all appetite and moods. Woke up to a bad start, lost my temper early in the morning. Was holding on to my fone the entire day. Checking for messages every few seconds. Even went to the extent of msging everyone to see if there was something wrong with my fone. Not cool. Starting to feel like some stalker.
Went driving in the afternoon. Drove in a blur. But i managed to drive and not knock anyone down, miraculously. (though i did make more mistakes than usual, like not checking blind spots, cutting into the main rd without slowing down, changing lanes without changing gears, signal left when i wan to turn right, and totally forgetting to release the clutch and stepping SUPER hard on the accelerator on the slope and wondering why is the car still dropping backwards)
Ended driving and still no msg. Went home, showered, still no msg. Was feeling so down i went to bury myself under my blanket and took a nap. Dreamt about dat idiot. See the effect he's starting to have on me? He's haunting me even in my dreams. Think too much till i was dreaming about it. I'm a gone case lah. Dun even know wad i wan and this is happening. Not even single for 2 weeks and i already have a new problem. And the question is.. Should i even be missing him like this when i dont even noe if i really like him this much to begin with! (talking about German here, not FGL) Shit case.
The talk with mw certainly helped. (thanks girl) Within like 5 mins after i called her, crying (i gave her a shock), i was laughing at our hopelessness. haha. Its good to know someone is as silly as i am. If not silly-er. Haha. I was telling her i was so affected to the extent that i had no appetite. Dats crazy. Me, no appetite = something wrong. Mw was saying im not going to be able to sleep. Which i agreed. I din even feel like working the next day. Too moody to think of what i wanted to wear to work the next day.
Put down the fone with mw after a short chat coz she had to go for dinner. Then i couldnt take it any longer, i msged him a super long msg, not caring if that made me sound like some stalker / crazy. He replied immediately. Apologising and telling me he's fine and some other stuff. Before u know it, mw called back and i was eating sweets! Got appetite to eat sweets already! See lah! Jian anot! Chicken backside.
Maybe others will think i'm overreacting, afterall he only stopped smsing me for ONE DAY. I wouldnt be acting this way if he hasnt been msging me EVERY morning, afternoon, evening, and night for the past month or so. It has already become a habit to see his msges everyday. So it freaked me out a little when i dont hear from him. Not a good thing. Sigh.
Can't believe i went from being happily attached to single and miserable and pathetic within a period of less than 2 weeks. 1 more week. Let me feel sad and sorry for myself for one more week and I should be fine. Hopefully.
I am already feeling better today compared to yesterdae. So that's good.
Au revoir and Auf Wiedersehen.
KaoBei-ed @
2:03 PM
Friday, October 10, 2008
Another Sad Post
Ok, I'm blogging this in my office. Nothing much to do, so i figured i might as well blog. At least it makes me look busy. So I've been busy this week. Lots of emails, press releases to write. New launch coming up and its going to be big news in the industry. Gonna be even busier next week with all the bosses back from their 3-week long trip. Not to mention we may have to sacrifice our Deepavali PH. Sigh.
Been almost a week since things ended between me and FGL. I'm surviving. He's surviving. Though its not easy. Day time is better. Night time isn't. I was so engrossed in thinking about him yesterdae that i totally missed my stop. Might not have happened if he hadn't come and talk to me on msn while i was at work yesterdae. I can't even remember when was the last time we spoke on msn. When he was in France maybe? It sucks to see his display picture on the msn window. Coz it makes me sad. Told me he was thinking of moving house. To somewhere nearer his workplace. To somewhere near.... German Schnappi. Nabei. Be housemates lah arbo! I think this is my retribution. That they may end up staying so near each other. (there's nothing wrong, its just weird) Dont tell me stuff like the world is small blah blah blah. If the world really is so small, why don't i know any friends, or cousins or distant relatives of Justin Timberlake, Jay Chou, Josh Duhamel...... Pui.
Maybe i need more than 2 weeks afterall. 2-3 weeks of feeling sad whenever its Saturday night, whenever I see subway, whenever i hear people speaking french, whenever i pass by CCR, whenever i spray my Fascinating perfume, whenever i see custard puffs, whenever i hear Apologise, whenever i see pasta, whenever i put on the necklace and earrings he bought, whenever i hear the name 'alex', whenever i drink good wine, whenever i take long bus rides, whenever i watch dvds (especially The Pursuit of Happyness), whenever i smell Davidoff Coolwater, whenever i see Gillette shavers, whenever i go AMK Hub, whenever i see cuff links, whenever i read the Scorpio horoscope (it has become a habit), whenever i see anything France related, whenever november 18 and dec 21 come, whenever i open up my msn and phone contacts and seeing his name right on top, whenever i take out my ez-link card and knowing that i carry 2 pictures of him everywhere i go........
Yes. This is definitely going to take longer than i thought. The existence of German helps, but knowing that FGL is no longer MY property makes me sad. I think i will die if he gets over me sooner than i get over him. Yes, i'm a selfish bitch. Break up with people still want people to take a longer time to get over me. Mw saes kai xin jiu hao. The most important thing is that WE'RE happy. Yes. I TOTALLY agree with her. Us happie = Most important thing. Everything else is secondary.
Oh well, I'll get over it. Just a matter of 'how long'. I have other things to keep me occupied. Like WORK. (no need to think too far off) And my Jay Chou's latest album!
Au Revoir and Auf Wiedersehen
KaoBei-ed @
4:14 PM
Monday, October 06, 2008
Good while it lasted
I ccannot believe i'm blogging about this. This is so not me, to be talking about relationships / breakups / heartaches. Before FGL, i dont even discuss my relationships with anyone. I like it simple and private. FGL was the only one who i was more comfortable in talking about (though he's still hidden 'underground' to everyone else except me), probably because i thought we were more stable and mature compared to the past (extremely short and not even worth mentioning) relationships that i had, or probably coz i have very KPO girlfriends. =) I'm not saying that we're not more stable and mature. We are. In fact, i think we became TOO stable and started to become boring. The lack of communication was probably the main reason. Some may think that we broke up coz i met someone new. I think even without the existence of German, FGL and I wouldn't be able to last long as well. German Schnappi was more like a wake up call, highlighting the lack of communication between FGL and myself. Its sad, coz we were good together.
I initiated the break. He accepted. Said if that's what i want, he's willing to go along with my decision. Now i'm the one suffering, and wondering if he's as sad as i am. S.I.G.H. I'm probably going to kill everyone in the office with all the carbon dioxide i'm releasing when i sigh. No tears. I figured i'll get over it in a week. 2 weeks tops. Not going to let myself feel sorry for so long. What's done is done. No need to dwell.
Oh well, guess i dont sign off with Au Revoir from now on.. Time to go Auf Wiedersehen! I figured most of you will not be able to pronounce this, so.. let me enlighten u guys. Watch Project Runway? Its the phrase Heidi Klum always use when the contestants get voted off.
Auf Wiedersehen~ =)
KaoBei-ed @
11:14 AM
Sunday, October 05, 2008
Schnappi
Met up with my dearest ladies on friday night. Had a hell of a time laughing, cursing, scolding, laughing, gossiping, laughing, drinking, and laughing somemore. We even toasted (is this the spelling?) to herpes, crabs (spelling again?), yeast, and cauli flower. Wtf. HAHAHA I have been laughing so much whenever i meet up with my girls i think i'm beginning to develop muscles in my JAW. Not my stomach. The stomach.. is just.. hopeless.
Since it was TGIF, mw and i wasn't in the mood to work so we basically chit chatted on msn the ENTIRE afternoon. Freaking funny our conversation i tell u. Especially when mw pasted the 'translation' of the Schnappi song to our conversation window. I LOL in the office. hahaha. Because of the origin and the meaning of the Schnappi song, and a certain activity that i did yesterdae, the girls made fun of me the entire night about crocodiles, alligators, fishing, "ang gor li".... (ahmah.. U are the ring leader)
Speaking of Schnappi, I have the MOST supportive girlfriends in the world! The Schnappi thing is not something i'm proud of. But my darlings are all out supporting me, ok maybe occasionally scaring me with the "kena piang" thing, but supportive nonetheless. =)
Yesterdae was great. Chinatown Heritage Centre was entertaining, though a bit too pricey for such a small museum. We finished the tour in under an hour. I found out where the Leow clan came from. haha. Wanted to take pictures but there were signs stating no photography allowed. More selfish lah! I took a few pictures secretly and Schnappi said they were going to throw me in jail soon. haha.
Chinatown excursion was good, dinner wasn't. We went Thai express at Vivo and I was TOTALLY ignored by the STUPID philippino / indonesian waitress. 3 times she came to our table to ask if Schnappi needed anything, and topped up his water, and 3 times she ignored my existence. Nabei. She came over and asked Schnappi (and only Schnappi), very sweetly, 'Hi sir, would you like some more water? Is there anything else you need?', and then proceed to ignore me. I asked Schnappi what gave her the impression that I didn't need anything? He said maybe coz he's the white guy so he gets her attention. Then wad am i? Invisible? Dead? PUI! Cb i'm never going there again.
Though dinner was sort of ruined by the stupid waitress, I had fun nonetheless. =) U will be amazed by the tiniest things he noticed about Sg. I din even realised i was doing / saying some things until he pointed them out. Oh well, let's see when i kena piang by lightning. haha.
Au Revoir mon chers.
KaoBei-ed @
3:47 PM